Thursday, April 28, 2011

My New Friend Craig...

I have written about my garage sales. God knows I've exhausted myself readying for them. And I've long-suffered listening to Mike mock me over the piddling amount of money I make for the effort involved.

Well, no more!! Because now I've used and profited from Craigslist,

That's right. The e-equivalent of the classified ads. Only free. And read by many.

Bonus: I SOLD a stove and dishwasher before Mike even had the chance to ridicule the fact that I'd posted them online.

Now, granted, I'm not getting rich doing this. I sold the stove, hood vent and dishwasher for $100. But I also sold one of my son's bikes for $50. And my daughter's bike for another $50.

  • Location: Rutherford, NJ
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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I've begun looking around the house anew. How much would someone pay for a microwave we keep in the basement? Ever since we renovated our kitchen, it only gets used when Cara wants to pop popcorn behind Ryan's back. That's gotta be worth $20. Although, there IS value in keeping the tell-tale signs of late night snacking from Ry....

Well, then: How about cross bars Mike bought for the Volvo's roof rack last summer? They were used for one (1) summer vacation and then I got my new vehicle--replete with dealer-installed crossbars and roofrack. They probably cost $250+. So... hmmm, I'll have to say I could get more than $50.
The beauty of Craigslist is I don't have to sit in the driveway all day. Or listen to an endless parade of cranky people whine that I don't have anything "good" left.

Me, pasting a smile on my face for the cranks: "Oh, well, I had some great stuff earlier.... "

Meanwhile, what I really want to say is: "If I had anything good, do you think I'd be wasting a beautiful, sunny day subjecting myself to idiotic inquisitions like this?! Don't ya think I'd be using all the 'good' stuff MYSELF?!"

But I don't. Because I'm really, really nice about not saying such things... to people's faces.

With Craigslist, it's all email. Someone asks if the thing is still available, when can they pick it up and bada bing, bada boom, done. AND they pay what I advertise. If I'd put the stove in a garage sale, I could MAYBE have priced it at $20, someone would've offered me $5 -- and then proceeded to tell me I needed to help get it in their truck.
If I'd balked, they would have been all, "Whaddyawant?! It's a GARAGE SALE! Get over yourself, sister!"

And to crib from Danny Glover... I'm too old for that #*@!

Hellooo, Craigslist.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

The Bottom Line

I wore a pink shirt to the gym the other day and one of my friends complimented me on it.

Me: "Oh, thanks. It's old and it kind of shrunk up. But... hey. Thanks."

My Friend: "Why do people always say that? It's always, 'This is old' or 'I paid two bucks for this.'"

Me: "Yeah, really. Next time someone says they like something, I should be like, 'Thanks, I paid $150 for it at Nordstrom.'"

My Friend: "Then they'll just look at you like, 'What a jerk.' And they'll walk away thinking, 'What's her problem?'"

I cracked up -- because it's so true! Why can't some of us just say "Thanks" without a qualifier?

My college roommate was the first person I knew who regularly discounted her purchases. I'd compliment her purse or her shirt and she'd say, "Five bucks at the flea market."

I had never been to a flea market. Correction: I had been to a flea market once, got scared by the amount of junk piled around people's cars and begged my dad to leave.

My roommate, on the other hand, went to an "Indoor Flea Market," which was really a gigantic building that housed everything from pickle purveyors to vendors selling gold-by-the-inch. And, indeed, many items seemed to be about $5.

Cut to today. Tell a woman you like the crackers she serving at her party, she'll tell you she got two boxes cheap at Christmas Tree Shops. Compliment somebody's shoes, and she'll say she found them on clearance. I knew someone having a cool pool installed and the wife said, "Well, we'll be eating mac & cheese for months because of it."

Notice these examples were all women. Men don't seem to do this. First of all, guy's don't compliment each other's shoes or crackers.

Guy 1: "Hey, man, these crackers are amazing."

Guy 2: "What's wrong with you?! The game's on! ...Are you doing 'shrooms again??"

No, men say things like, "Is that a new car?"

Guy 2: "Damn straight. I don't even want to tell you what I paid for the upgrades. Totally worth it though to be able to check Facebook hands-free."

Guy 1: "For real? I gotta get that."

A woman in the same situation? "I don't even want to tell you how much mac & cheese we'll be eating for the next year!"

Sunday, April 03, 2011

The Glee Effect

I'll admit it: I like "Glee." Not lovin' it, but not a hater.... I haven't grown entirely sick of the songs or the drama. And I don't like how some of the minor players were given bigger roles this season. But I'm okay with the show overall.

Apparently, Hollywood is TOTALLY digging "Glee." To the point where it's hatching all manner of song 'n dance routines in the unlikeliest of shows and situations.

I started watching "Drop Dead Diva" last summer. That's a far-out show where a song-and-dance routine popping up in a dream isn't out of left field, because the whole premise of the show is pretty out there: a girl dies in a car crash but is put back in someone else's body. Kind of like that Warren Beatty flick, "Heaven Can Wait."

But I was watching "House" some weeks ago, and out of nowhere, Hugh Laurie is in top hat and tails singing "Get Happy." There was an enormous stair entrance, fog, dancers. It was quite the spectacle. Of course, it was a dream or a drug induced dream or a drug trip. Point is, he was singing! And House doesn't sing!

I thought it was odd, but didn't really care. And then I was hit with the Grey's Anatomy extravaganza. There, I was treated to an hour-long musical variety hour. Doctors were savings lives while singing, "How to Save a Life," and "How We Operate," and "Chasing Cars." If you're a big ol' long-time fan of the show, you might have thought this was really amazing. All these people you thought were just actors can sing as well as your average "American Idol" finalist. Who knew?

But the bigger question might be: Who cares?! I just wanted to know if the critically injured Dr. Callie and her unborn baby were going to live or die. Never was the fast-forward button on the DVR more appreciated.

Tonight, after a short hiatus, Glee is back. I don't want to see Coldplay's wife warbling more songs while prancing around in teacher outfits that include skimpy skirts, leather pants or 6-inch heels. But I will welcome a show where the singing and dancing is part of the show.

I just hope next songfest won't involve Chris Noth slamming out a version of "Celebration" on the next episode of "The Good Wife." ...Hey, it could happen.