Monday, March 26, 2007

Partyin' Out o' Bounds

When Mike recently told me he'd be gone for most of this past weekend because of the Tout Wars (I swear to God, there's no shame when it comes to competition among men. You're playing FANTASY sports. Do you really need to use the term "War?" "War?")

Anyway, his being gone gave me the excuse to have a girls' night at my house. With all the friends who've either had me over or included me in the many nights out we've enjoyed over the years. Or they've had my kids over. Or had my kids in their pool. Or fed my kids. Or picked my kids up from school. This one night was my big chance for reciprocation.

So, because a few of my friends had never seen my house before, and I'd been to theirs--and they were all sickeningly impeccable and absurdly well-decorated and obnoxiously well-stocked with food and drinks--I got a little freaked out. There was no way I could learn to make haute appetizers and become a floral designer -- not to mention, hire a contractor to blow out the rear of our house, expand the kitchen, install new cabinets and designer appliances, add a deck, create a powder room and renovate the basement bathroom -- in two days.

Recognizing these shortcomings, I decided I could attain the modern, open sensibility I yearned for combined with perfect decor and sublime epicurious delights by plying everyone with liquor the second they walked through the door. I think I'm submitting this tip to HGTV.

I basically had a day to clean up this place. And anyone who knows me or my kids knows that I should have just hammered myself in the head because it would have been less painful. Maybe I'm the only person who has been through this, but for me, it's kind of a regular occurrence: I have to start cleaning up, and there's so much to do, I decide I need to call old friends, touch base with my family, send some e-mails. By the time I got that done, I was too tired to clean. So I did some shopping for prepared food items. When I had roughly an hour before I had to get the kids and their friends from school, I started clearing clutter. Which I finished at about 10 Friday night.

Saturday, I decided I owed it to myself to go to the gym. Then I took Ryan to his swim class. Then I paid a couple of bills. With literally nowhere left to hide, I hunkered down to the cleaning. Which was a LOT of fun, so much so, I can't believe I don't do it more often.

By the time the party started, I was on Advil and pouring myself mugs of coffee.

And that, my friends, is how you party like a rock star....